just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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