Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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