last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
