i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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