I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All I want is dick and wine.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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