It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
