i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
smell my finger.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
