Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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