there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
