Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
