I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
