A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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