I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
