At least make sure they are 18
Why
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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