HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
