I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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