when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
