I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
