she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
