Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
