You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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