There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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