I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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