He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
