i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
