He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
