I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
