So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize