One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Soap is not a condiment
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
