So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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