we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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