Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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