i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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