Christians are straight up FREAKS
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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