all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
