Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
