Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
