Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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