Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you bring me the toilet please
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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