So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
