New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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