The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
