I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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