just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize