He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize