So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
