I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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