4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize