her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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