you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
