**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
