I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize