i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize