she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
