he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize